Jeremy's Essays

What Is The Best Fast And Furious Film?

2009-03-30T12:58:00.005-04:00

Whenever people ask me what is your favorite film of all time I always counter with “Can it be a series and not just one film?” to which they reply “Whatever, I guess.” to which I immediately reply “The Fast And The Furious series!” to which they reply “Huh?” to which I reply “I live my life a quarter mile at a time.” Then I walk away. Perhaps the real question is “What is the best film from The Fast and the Furious series?” I hope by the end of this paper I will be able to come to an answer to that question that I just asked.

The first film, The Fast and the Furious, hit theatres in 2001 fast and furiously. It launched such careers as Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, who are now major players in the Hollywood scene. It has the best plot of all the movies and was an instant classic. The only real drawback was that it was only 106 minutes long when if could have been probably double that.

The Second film, 2 Fast 2 Furious, suffered a bit of a sophomore slump but still is much better than most movies that I've seen. It doesn't have Vin Diesel in it which is a bit of a double sword. Vin adds so much when he is on screen but without him Paul Walker really gets to shine. Though not as good as the first, its phenomenal soundtrack gives it a boost of NOS in the race for best in the series.

I was really doubtful about the third film Tokyo Drift before I saw it. It was great that another Fast and Furious movie was coming out but I was scared that it was going to ruin the integrity of the series. But as soon as I saw it it erased the doubts I had like an eraser. Not only does it have Lil Bow Wow in it but it also has the best racing scenes in the series and it is easily is the most quotable.

The fourth film, Fast & Furious comes out this weekend and finally has the original cast members back together again. I haven't seen it yet but the trailer alone puts the fourth installment up for contention for the best in the series.

So to answer the question, I would have to say it is a tie among all four. If you're going to threaten to run my head over with a 2000 Honda Civic equipped with a double-wishbone suspension with MacPherson struts and tell me that I have to pick only one I would say Fast & Furious by a nose, a nose made out of a Razzi 615-100 Body Kit. But if you ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning's winning.

Why Do Teens Do Drugs?

2009-03-29T14:46:00.004-04:00

It was a Thursday afternoon during the season of autumnal equinox. I was in fourth grade and was briskly walking home from school so I could watch an episode of South Park that I taped the previous night before my parental figures arrived home from work. I decided to take a shortcut down Deadman's Trail so I could get home quicker. I was minding my own business when a group of raggedy sixth graders appeared out of the knee-high brush and circled me like I was the star in a synchronized swimming routine and my team was circling me to accentuate my side fishtail to knight to flamingo move. But instead of that they held me down and made me smoke a Kool menthol cigarette.

I'm not arguing that this is why all kids do drugs because most kids walk home with a group of friends from school. But drugs are a slippery slope and if someone is held down by a group of sixth graders and forced to smoke a fag (the word fag means cigarette in England, so it's OK) then they could be smokers for a long time and even longer. Or until a week later when their father finds out and makes them smoke a heavy groundwood construction paper to prove a point but I digress.

Another reason why some teens may do drugs is because they think it is cool. They think because they are doing things that most other teens don't that it's an exclusive club which makes them cool. But eventually if everyone wants to be cool then they will all start doing drugs making it less exclusive and thus making it less cool. So if more teens do drugs then more teens won't do drugs.

Teens do drugs for two reasons: either they were forced to by older kids when younger or they want to be cool. Whatever the reason per chance to be, I believe when the teens reach college that they will realize that drugs aren't cool or even important. I plan to become addicted to the coolest drug according to college students: knowledge.

If You Were An Animal, What Animal Would You Be?

2009-03-28T16:26:00.001-04:00

If an evil sorcerer was going to curse me for eternity and turn me into an animal but had the courtesy to ask me what type of animal I would like to be it would be a tough decision. After a long pause and probably attempts from the sorcerer to choose an animal for me my answer would be “Turn me into a mixture of animals, please.” This may anger the evil sorcerer but I figure if he had enough kindness in his heart to ask me he would at least grant this wish. He would probably limit it to three choices so I below I would like to discuss my choices for my animal head, animal body and animal limbs.

For my animal head I would pick an elephant head. I have a pretty bad memory so with an elephant head I would never forget anything. This way I would never forget the evil sorcerers face and I could get revenge on him later in life. Also, elephants are the only animals that can paint with their nose so I would be able to sell my paintings. There aren’t many jobs for a three animal creature, especially in this economy. Even if my paintings aren’t well, I would still be able to sell my tusks at a pawn shoppe or something.

The choice for my animal body would be a chameleon. Chameleons are usually green but the can change the color of their skin to adapt to their situations. This way I could change color to match any of my outfits so I would always match. Also if I had to hide I could blend in my surrounds and at most people would think that there was a dead elephant head.

I am going to go out on a limb here and tell you my choice for my animal limbs would be an eagle. Eagles are the most American animal and have feet, wings, and a tail so I would be getting my moneys worth so to speak. My feet would catch my food, my wings would let me fly places and I’ve always wanted a tail.

What has two wings, two feet and a tail? An eagle with the head of an elephant and the body of a chameleon. This combination is not only one of the slyest creatures ever but in the time it takes the evil sorcerer to look up the corresponding spells he might get frustrated enough to just say “Oh, forget it.”

Do You Want Schools To Require Uniforms?

2009-03-27T21:36:00.003-04:00

Should schools require uniforms? This is an age old question asked by many people when the issue came up at the monthly Akron public school board meeting. I for one do not support uniforms in my school or any other school. Policeman, fireman, prisoners, army workers, people at Quizno's, baseball teams, boys and girls scouts, and even some janitors all wear uniforms but that doesn't mean students should. They don't do homework so why should we have to wear uniforms?

Uniforms are the oldest way to dress and have been used in the professions I stated in the introduction paragraph earlier. This is probably why Principal Estelle brought it up; everyone knows his brother is a fireman, and his sister works at Quizno's. He has proposed uniforms for the school before and has even mentioned where his brother and sister work. But yet he claims he thinks it will lower the number of school shootings a year (8-12), and solve other behavioral problems. That may be true but it will also cause problems potentially worse then said problems caused by not wearing uniforms.

If everyone wore the same thing everyday then it would be very boring. It would stunt our creativity and make everyone act like robots. Robots may be smart but they are unable to love and aren't legally allowed to play high school sports, two things that are crucial to a young adolescent teen.

If uniforms aren't the solution to the problem they are the problem of the problem. When waiters start doing homework and remember to refill your freckled lemonade, I will start to wear a uniform. But until then I will continue to be the beautiful, smart, and talented person that my grandmother constantly tells me I am. Also I just bought a pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans and I want to be able to wear them in school.

My Name is Jeremy and This is My Story (abridged)

2009-03-26T19:22:00.005-04:00

Can you imagine a life that includes a half of a season on the junior varsity tennis team, being raised as a single child AND having eczema? Well, I do not have to imagine it, I lived it! Welcome to the life of Jeremy. It all started on the unpleasantly cold November 7^th evening in 1991, when I was born in the Akron Hospital. Everyone always asks “Where were you when Magic Johnson announced he had HIV?” Well my answer is simple, I was being born. I'm not saying that to brag, I like to think of Magic's hardships as a parallel to mine, including but not limited to the eczema. Throughout this essay I would like to shed some light on myself. Telling you about whom I am, what life means to me, and my outlook on what the future may hold.

Firstly, I would like to talk about whom I am as a person. Like I stated in the introduction I am a single child, which is like being the last cookie in the cookie jar, lonely at first until you find your best friend (milk). What you probably realized already, my “Milk” happens to be writing essays. It's the one thing I'm good at and I will continue to dunk myself into essays until the day I perish.

Secondly, the paragraph about what life means to me. Life means a lot. Without life what does any one of us have? Death? Yes. Without life you have death. Taxes? Probably not. You only pay taxes when you have life, but I'm not sure about in Heaven. Your family pays the taxes on the funeral when you die but those are the taxes they have to pay. Speaking of taxes, I will have to pay taxes in the future.

Thirdly, my outlook on the future is that I'll have to wear brown tortoise colored Antix style Oakley's. Because my future is so bright that I'll have to wear that style of sunglasses. With my new web site blog there is no way in heck that any college in its right mind will turn me down. When/if they do, it'll be their loss because I'll go right on to another University. If I get turned down by all the accredited universities and all the accredited online universities then I will probably open my own magazine or something. It won't happen but if it does, I'll be prepared.

Conclusionly, my life has had many upsides and downsides but if I continue to work hard then I will prevail much like Magic has prevailed over HIV [knock on wood(for both of us)].